EXCLUSIVE: Interview with MULTIPLE DIRECTIONS!

The selfie that started it all…

An interview with UCR’s boyband: Multiple Directions

By Aimah Moiz

On the Third Open Mic of the semester we saw a new band emerge amidst the pool of familiar performing faces. Multiple Direction, UCR’s #1 boy band. Members of Multiple Directions (or MD) live up to all the attributes of a boy band, they cannot sing, cannot dance, and cannot play any instrument. Frankly, they do not have any talent so to speak of, and rely solely on their appearances and charm, which is what makes them perfect boy band material.

Despite being painfully aware of their shortcomings, the group decided to go ahead with their plan and created a Facebook page and held a photoshoot advertising their band for the Open Mic. Within four days they had reached more than a total of two hundred likes. Due to the over-whelming fandom they had created, Tabula Rasa decided to interview them an hour before their debut performance.
Watch them here:

Character Profiles:

Roy Habets
Roy is the brain behind MD, from Maastricht, Limburg. He fancies himself as the Harry Styles of the group and provides the binding force, which keeps them together. According to Jasper, “Roy is the real leader of the group. He pushes us to the next level and with him pushing us we actually get to that level.” Bastian quietly adds, “He’s very strict but also rewarding,” at which Roy responds, “We’ll see how rewarding I am tonight.” Oooh.

Life Motto: Hakuna Matata.

Bastian van Stigt

Described as “Bambi on ice” for his signature dance moves, Bastian is irrefutably MD’s most prominent member, as he tends to be miserably out of sync with the rest of the group. He is also co-creator of MD and thinks his most important contribution to it is his hairy chest.

Life Motto: When the going gets tough, the tough get going.

Calvin Collin Vansteensel-Curry MD’s sole provider of skinny jeans is Calvin, the fashionable young man from India. With him supervising MD’s music and their members’ wardrobes, he ensures they maintain their high swag levels.  “I keep on trend you know. GQ says it’s the ultimate truth,” says Calvin.

Though it is true that MD is heavily dependent on him to keep up to date with fashion, sadly even he (as well as rest of the group) lacks an essential skill, that is, simple ironing. However, Calvin seems to have found a solution to this problem, as can be seen by his life motto: You may catch a lot of flies with honey but you catch more honeys being fly.

Robin Vanderschrick

The silent giant of the group, Robin, is also a ladies’ man. “This guy is a lady killer,” says Jasper.
“Well of course all of us are but Robin’s got a different level,” clarifies Roy.

Life Motto: If you have a lot of stuff to do, take a nap.

DISCLAIMER: This interviewer was requested not to mention anything from the course of conversation that took place after this statement, however, she was told to include Robin’s number so that fans (read, ladies)  may contact him, themselves. His contact number is +33643914757.

Amr Osman

Owner of Multiple Directions’ headquarters, Amr not only provides the band with a creative venue to harness their non-existent talents but also, befitting his Arab origins, with food, drinks, and a couch to crash on.

“Amr’s like the sorted out guy,” says Calvin. “When everything goes wrong, he saves the day,” adds Bastian. The group is also heavily indebted to Amr for creating their facebook page and for getting them a manager who they do not need.

“Amr’s like great,” praises Jasper. “He’s got an awesome studio. Because of him we got our photo shoot. So without Amr I don’t think we could have gotten this far.” The group shows its love for him by singing him a song; “With Amr, we’ve come this far….”

Life Motto: You’ll never know you limits unless you push yourself to them.

Jasper Rosenkrands

Despite being the final addition to the group Jasper takes MD quite seriously. Like bow tie and custom made suit seriously. His blend of Dutch and Danish parentage coupled with his years spent in Asia make him the perfect addition to this diverse group. “He’s like the mysterious classy guy,” says Calvin. “Even if there’s mist out there, he still knows his ship,” Roy insists, to which Jasper responds, “Yeah, I’m well prepared. Watch out ladies.”

Well he was the first one to get ready. Plus the suit. Do not forget the suit.

Life Motto: Everyone has to believe in something, and I believe I’ll have another beer.

The interview:

Aimah: What was your motivation behind Multiple Directions?

Jasper: Actually we know we are so much better than One Direction, so if they made it, why can’t we? And with that motivation we are going to conquer the world.

Roy: Back in the old days we had Backstreet boys they rocked but then OD came up and they weren’t good at all.

Calvin: We got to bring it back.

Bastian: That’s our mission. To show them what boy bands are about.

Aimah: Could you please tell me your history? How did Multiple Directions come into being?

Roy: Well it was English 160, me and Bastian are in the same class, and I don’t know how but…

Bastian: It’s like a flower that surfaced out of the soil…

Roy: Exactly. So we just said, ‘You know what we should do? Form a boyband!’ Like as a joke, and the joke aspirated really quickly and then Calvin joined, Amr joined, Robin joined. Then Jon joined but Jon dropped out and Jasper joined.

Jasper: The best back up ever.

Calvin:  I met them after class and they said “we’re going to form a band!’ so I asked them what’s the name and they said ‘Multiple Directions’. I started laughing and I was like ‘Yeah! I’m joining this!’ and these guys, Amr and Robin were standing there as well so I went up to them and was like you guys want to join as well. We basically made it in like what a span of one hour?

Roy: Well we basically discussed it during class and then after class it took us four minutes to form it.

Calvin: It was fate.

(Silence)

Jasper: (emotionally) I love you guys.

Aimah: It is amazing how Multiple Directions has taken off; I mean you had over 200 likes of facebook within 4 days, that’s a big thing.

Jasper: 236 at the moment.

Aimah: Yes. More than 200. I would say I really admire you guys for this. I have seen a lot of people who think they are good at singing and are really passionate about it, they get into it but … they’re pathetic and it feels really bad telling them about it. But you guys are different. Very different. You guys KNOW you’re bad.

All at Once: Woah! Hey!

Jasper: We know that we can’t sing. I know, but I think it’s just how handsome we all are.

Roy: We know we all suck but together it’s beautiful.

Bastian: It’s like a choir.

Jasper: (passionately) Yes, we’re like a choir. As individuals we’re horrible at singing but once we are together…

Amr: We still suck.

Bastian: Let me put it like this: We’re like a chair with six legs. If you take out one leg the entire chair collapses.

Roy: Exactly.

Bastian: Provided the chair isn’t the most stable of chairs.

Amr: We don’t even know if it is a chair.

Aimah: How are you guys feeling about it tonight’s show? (the performance at the Spot)

Amr: At the moment I’m feeling okay, but once we step on stage I’m going to sh*t.

Jasper: We’ve rehearsed a lot. So I feel confident. I feel we’re going to nail this thing.

Bastian: It’s not going to be a joke because we have practiced a lot.

Calvin: We plan on [going to] may be UCM next time.

Jasper: I have found out that there is this [event] in which all the UCs come together to perform…

Aimah: The UCSRN.

Jasper: Exactly. We might take it to a bigger stage.

Bastian: Like ‘Holland’s got Talent’

Roy: I’ve heard of the Royal Albert Hall in London. I heard it’s a pretty good venue. Let’s see if that’s possible.

Calvin: I’ll talk to Carnegie [Hall].

Aimah: So the thing is, despite your cultural differences you all get along really well together. In fact, that is one of your strengths. And that is why it is ‘Multiple’ Directions, isn’t it?

Roy: Exactly. It’s not because One Direction already existed it’s because ‘Multiple’ Directions fits our profile.

Aimah: Do you have a final message for your fans?

Robin: We love them.

Jasper: Yes. Don’t be alone in a room with Robin.

Bastian: Buy our album!

Calvin: Be yourself, even if you can’t be us.

Roy: Kids, stay in school.

Amr: Our motto is hugs and drugs.

Calvin: All jokes aside, on a serious note, even though we are doing this as a parody, this show is what UCR is all about, about expressing yourself. You know, no judgement. Getting up on stage and doing what you want. These 200 likes proved that UCR is not judgmental. That’s why you shouldn’t be afraid to have fun and do stupid things. Don’t be afraid about people judging you. Do what you want.

xxx

Calvin, you could not have said it better. At the end of the night, no matter how auditorily impairing their singing was, or how out of synch their dance was, it was the act of a group of friends from diverse backgrounds uniting on stage and bravely making complete fools out of themselves in front of an audience. That in itself takes a lot of courage which no amount of vodka can provide. Kudos to these guys for trying.

Aimah Moiz, Class of 2017, Major Undeclared, Karachi, Pakistan