By Amée Zoutberg
You for one might have completely missed International Women’s Day, but the 8th of March is branded into the memory of almost every Russian citizen. In honor of this day, President Putin delivered a speech[1] in honour of all women, praising the comfort and support they grant to the men surrounding them. Personally, it made me wonder about the relationship between patriarchal system of this society, and its simultaneous active praise of women on this day. From a Western perspective, it seemed to appreciate women, yet mostly in their value to men. It sounded almost paradoxically respectful and un-feminist. I asked one of my Russian friends (not a UCR student) to clarify.
Anton (19) is a Russian native currently not living in the country. He explains that women are highly appreciated as the pillars of Russian culture through childbirth. As a token of esteem they receive flowers and sometimes jewellery on this special day, as did Anton’s mother and sister. Women congratulate other women with ‘happy 8th of March’, almost in a ‘merry Christmas’-fashion. Below, various women’s roles in Russian patriarchy are described according to Anton’s account.
Mothers and the Home Mothers are untouchable: mother-themed curses are seen as quite offensive in Russia. Fathers lead the household, mothers take care of the home next to their daily jobs. This dynamic is usually connected to income (although it is rare, men take on more household tasks when they earn less than their wives). Husbands are still expected to contribute in housework. ‘Hard’ physical or technical labour such as carrying heavy grocery bags and changing light bulbs are left up to men. An ideal mother can clean and cook well, and supports her husband where ever she can. Preparing good food is vital: A says that it is believed “you can catch a man’s heart through his stomach”.
A mother’s authority over her children is strong and spiritual. At the same time, it is not as long-lasting as paternal authority, which remains valid and fairly absolute until death. Mothers have a spiritual connection to their children and their instincts are highly valued. When a mother feels her child is going in the wrong direction, superstition demands these feelings to be valued else they are more likely to become true.
Daughters are seen as treasures – almost princess-like. They should be appreciated and spoiled. Girls are expected to help with the household more than sons. Brothers are tasked with the protection of their sisters and help them out any way they can (i.e. giving her rides). This protection is not limiting: sisters should be able to make their own choices. When brothers are unable to convince her to alter her choices, they should respect and protect her in the process (such as accompanying her to parties).
Girlfriend Material Which girls you should bring home to your mother, and who absolutely not. It must firstly be understood that Russian society values reputation and the family much more than Dutch society. If you come from a family that is not highly valued in your community, or if your reputation is not exceptional (which is often related to a substandard upbringing) you are likely disqualified as a suitable partner. Secondly, you must be strong of character. When you are seen as a ‘lady of easy virtue’ and promiscuous, you are out. A cheater is seen as a disgrace to their family. As a girl, cursing is out of the question and will make you seem low class.
Most of all, you must have a kind character. Unempathetic women, including common courtesy, are seen as undesirable. Women should ‘try not to be hard’: do not perform ‘hard labour’, use foul language or wear sweatpants. Be loyal and supportive. Dating is more of a serious affair in Russia, and so you should look for wifey-qualities in your girlfriend. However, cooking and cleaning are not an absolute requirement as they can be learned. Personality first, then skills. Overall, and this may not come as a surprise, you should simply be ‘a good person’.
Sexy Ladies Female attractiveness is highly valued in Russian society. Ladies are not often seen in jeans and sneakers, or carrying backpacks rather than handbags. A’s sister gets up two hours early to complete her makeup routine and uses more skin products than western women might be familiar with. Women often dress and make up before they leave the house. Even if they do not plan to leave for the day, it is unlikely for Russian women to remain fully au naturel and braless. Lazy sundays and more westernised women form an exception. Generally, it is not desirable to apply as much products as possible: only use as much mascara and foundation as is necessary to make yourself ‘look good’. Deep cleavage is usually only appropriate in evening dresses. Latex and drawing too much (sexual) attention to yourself is not done. In general, ladies should ‘be on point, but not provocative’ as promiscuity is not appreciated.
Strong and Independent Wives, daughters and girlfriends should be supported in fulfilling their wishes. Women are free to pursue any career to their liking, including high-power positions and more physical work such as farming. At the same time, it is undesirable for women not to have children. The Russian government actively motivates its female citizens to bear around three children[2][3] in order to replenish the diminishing population.
Divorce is generally a big thing, and felt to be disappointing. This is also due to the Russian value placed on a strong and traditional family and the need of finding a suitable and sustainable spouse through dating. Preferably, you are to be married only once, and your unreliability as a partner decreases with every divorce. Children stay with their mothers and fathers are to pay full alimony. Russian taxes are increased or decreased dependent on the single mother’s income. In addition, the Russian government supplies widows with an allowance, which is raised with every dependent child the woman has that is born from wedlock[4]. Some are appointed homes.
Overall, it seems that although there are certain patriarchal expectations engrained in Russian culture, women are not necessarily oppressed or seen as subservient. Part of this, we can speculate, may be a remnant of egalitarian communism. Russian society seems to rather strongly distinguish between the roles of men and women, with little overlap, bearing an overarching demand for mutual kindness. This makes for a respectful patriarchy. However, this does not change the fact that Putin’s congratulation of women in their supportive role to Russian men is definitely unfeminist.
At the same time, this investigation has cemented in me the realisation that there is much more nuance to a patriarchy than most might think (it is not necessarily ‘evil’, and can be quite respectful and genuinely appreciative of women). In addition, I have learned that I can be certain of my undoubted singlehood if I were to live in Russia. However, I will be sure to congratulate my boyfriend next Women’s Day with my existence and kindness.
Featured image source: http://elitefon.ru/
Amée Zoutberg, Class of 2018, is a Sociology and Politics Major from Amsterdam, the Netherlands.
[1] Putin. (2018, March 08). Greetings to Russian women on International Women’s Day. Retrieved from http://en.kremlin.ru/events/president/news/57018
[2] Putin unveils plan to boost birth rates in Russia. (2017, November). Retrieved from https://www.news24.com/World/News/putin-unveils-plan-to-boost-birth-rates-in-russia-20171128
[3] Parfitt, T. (2012, December 12). Vladimir Putin calls on Russian families to have three children. Retrieved from https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/vladimir-putin/9739678/Vladimir-Putin-calls-on-Russian-families-to-have-three-children.html
[4] A guide to claiming a Russian pension. (n.d.). EXPATICA. Retrieved from https://www.expatica.com/ru/finance/russian-pension-pension-in-russia_908579.html
